


Not Sorry, You Knob

by gingergallifreyan



Series: Hardy x Rose [1]
Category: Broadchurch, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Humor, Teninch, alec being a knob, rose pulling shenanigans, what more could you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 09:01:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12339573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gingergallifreyan/pseuds/gingergallifreyan
Summary: Rose asks Alec to attend a Vitex event, and he refuses. Rose resorts to other methods of persuasion.





	Not Sorry, You Knob

**Author's Note:**

> In response to this [hilarious photo](http://timepetalsprompts.tumblr.com/post/166306743852/gingergallifreyan-said-found-on-facebook-rose). Also, for @timepetalsprompts Teninch free for all. Also, shoutout to @aneclipsedhabitue for her assistance.
> 
> This is my first time writing our favorite grumpy Scottish lump, and this is also unbeta’d.

“No, Rose, I’m not going to some stupid, bloody Vitex event.” Alec crossed his arms and his legs and leaned on the kitchen counter.

She leaned on the counter opposite him. Her jaw dropped a little. “Why not?”

He closed his eyes, waved his hand, and shook his head. “Oh, don’t do the eyes thing with me.”

“What ‘eyes thing’?”

“Whenever I do something wrong, you make those eyes at me. Miller does the same thing and it drives me crazy. Bad enough I get it at work. I don’t need it from you, too.”

“I’m not making any eyes at you, Alec.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Maybe if you’d be less of a knob, Miller and I wouldn’t have to make any eyes at you.”

“I’m not being a knob.”

“Yes, you are. I invited you to something, and you’re refusing to go.”

“I hate events.”

“But it’s not just any event. It’s a family social event. You didn’t go while we were dating, and that’s fine, but we’re married now. It’d be nice to have my husband with me.”

“You don’t need me with you if you’ve been doing them without me.”

“Is it too much to ask for you for an hour? An hour is all I need. Then we can head back to a hotel and be back in Broadchurch the next morning.”

“Yes, an hour is too much. An hour around anybody is too much.”

“Even me?”

“That’s not what I said and you know it.”

“And in case you didn’t hear me, I said a  _hotel_  would be involved.”

He raised an eyebrow. “So you want sex out of the deal? Is that what you’re saying?”

“I’m saying I’d make it worth your trouble, yeah.”

He crossed the kitchen and leaned on the counter next to her. His voice was softer. “Well, if you wanted that, I can just give that to you.”

She blushed. “Now you’re the one making eyes at me.”

“And I can’t promise you an hour, not yet anyway, but it would be a lot more enjoyable than a bloody banquet.”

“Yeah?” She leaned back as he placed both hands on either side of her.

“And I always want to be around you. You’re the only person I like well enough to be around.”

She bit her lip. “Show me?”

\--

Alec leaned back against the headboard, panting, his arm around her waist, as Rose rested her head on his shoulder to recover. “Now, see…”  

She lifted her head and rolled her eyes. “What, Alec?”

“Do you think I’d be in a mood… for all that after a… bloody social event?” He swallowed and kissed her shoulder.

She sighed and lifted herself from his lap and curled up next to him. “Way to kill the afterglow, Casanova.”

“I’m just saying, Rose.” He pressed his lips to her hair and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

“Fine.”

“Fine what?”

“You don’t want to go. Fine.”

“It’s not fine.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re not a social person. I get it.”

“So you understand?”

“Yeah. I’m not happy, but I understand.”

“Thank you.”

“Yep. I won’t say another word about it.” She patted his stomach and kissed him on the cheek.

They sat in silence for a moment before he asked, “Do you think we need a shower now?”

\--

“What do you have for lunch today, Hardy?” Ellie poured some balsamic vinaigrette on her salad as they worked to close out a case.

“Sandwich. Rose made it for me.” He finished clicking a few things off on his computer.

She poked at a few bits of lettuce and strawberries. “Oh, that’s sweet of her. I’m so glad you made an honest woman of her.”

He half smiled. “Me, too.”

“I saw a picture of her and Daisy on Instagram earlier. Looks like they’re enjoying a nice day out.”

“Where were they?” He pulled his lunchbox over in front of him and unzipped it.

“Getting a kebab.”

“That’s nice.” He unbagged his prize. Ham and cheese on wheat. _Can’t go wrong with that,_ he thought. He lifted it to his mouth and bit down on something uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. “Christ-” He spit out the bite of sandwich and looked at it.

Ellie’s eyes were wide. “What’s wrong? Something else in the case?”

“No!” He stared, bewildered, at the corner of an unwrapped slice of cheese protruding from his sandwich. “She didn’t unwrap the bloody cheese.” He set it down and lifted the bread off the top. He stared at it.

She stood to examine it. _“Not sorry,”_ she read the words written on the plastic in permanent marker. Then she laughed. Loudly.

He glared at her. “Not funny, Miller.”

“Not sorry!” She had to sit. After a moment, he was still glaring at her. She pulled out her phone and snapped a picture. “The look on your face. Priceless!”

“Don’t send that to her.”

“Like hell I won’t. What did you, Hardy?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, you did something.”

“We had a… discussion last night.”

“What about?” She poked at her salad again.

“She wants me to go to a Vitex event.”

“And you told her you wouldn’t.”

“I’m not going.”

“I want pictures of you two. I’m sure she’ll look lovely.”

“I’m not going, Miller.”

“You’re bloody going with her, you are.”

He unwrapped the slice of cheese and put his sandwich together. “I’m not talking to you about this.”

“I hope you have a grand time in London this weekend.”

He ate the rest of his sandwich in all of his silent, broody glory.

\--

He got in their car outside of the station. He crossed his arms and glared out the window.

Rose pulled away. “How was work today, dear?” she asked coyly.

“So, Rose, about my sandwich.”

“What about it, Alec?”

He turned his body towards her, indignant. “The cheese was still wrapped.”

“I hadn’t noticed, Alec.”

“There was a bloody note on the cheese, Rose!”

“I thought it was a nice note.”

“That was not a nice experience!”

“It wasn’t?”

“No, it was not, Rose.”

“I love when you get all angry in Scottish.”

“Oh, you said it was fine for me not to go!”

“And you acknowledged it was _not_ fine.”

“And then you told me it was fine again!”

“Just please come with me. You don’t have to talk to anyone, I promise. That’s my dad and mum’s job.”

He growled and looked out the window again.

“Please? It would mean a lot to me. We get to dance and eat free food. Good food, too. I picked out a nice dress for it. You’ll like it, the dress.”

“If I go, will you bloody shut up about it?”

“Not another word about it until the day. Just come this once, and if you don’t like it, I promise I won’t make you go to another one.”

He sighed. “Fine.”

She looked at him in surprise. “You’ll go?”

“I said I would, didn’t I? Eyes on the road, please.”

She grinned. “Thank you, Alec.”

“How was the kebab?”

“It was great, thanks.”

“I hope it fell on the ground.”

\--

Alec did enjoy himself more than he let on. He particularly enjoyed Rose’s red backless dress with a slit on the side to her upper thigh, savoring the feel of her skin beneath his fingers as they danced. He also particularly enjoyed removing it from her person in their swanky hotel after his required hour.

He never complained about attending a Vitex event again.


End file.
